Sarcasm Overload

Top Things Why Being a Goody-goody Never Works:

1. You will whine about it anyway.
2. You will eventually let it out when you've reached your boiling point.
3. There is no such thing as "trying not to be angry".
4. It sucks to just keep quiet.
5. It sucks to just smile and pretend you're okay.
6. Being a martyr is not a turn-on.
7. Hiding your feelings is just so overrated.
8. It pays to speak your mind.
9. Acting someone you're not is just stupid.
10. You will cry anyway about it in the end anyway.

Not Looking Forward

Call me a major kill-joy but yes, I am not looking forward for the weekend. I wish it was Monday so I can work, thus, rubbing me of my ability to try to over analyze things in my head and going insane in the process.
Please let's fast forward two days from now.

Mothering

When it comes to being a mom, I never, in my wildest dreams, did imagine I'd be talking about it when I hit the age of 24 (actually, I became a mom at 23, and 8 months but let's just round it off). I thought I'd be settling down at maybe 29 or 30, give birth to only one son or daughter and then get old happy.
The thing is, I got pregnant way earlier, gave birth to twins and now I'm experiencing what it is to be a parent. Talking about being a parent is not even close to honoring your own parents. It's so freakin so much more than that. It's more than just giving birth and buying milk and staying up in the wee hours of the morning to tend to the babies. I wish I can say being a mom is a breeze. Being a mom is made up of so many different things.
Although seeing your babies smiling or laughing and sleeping soundly is enough to take away the stress of the day, everyday becomes an increasing challenge, and you constantly ask yourself if you're going to be a good parent or not.
When the twins caught the cold when they were two months old, I stayed up every single night they were with me and cuddled them until the morning. I constantly checked and placed a mirror under their noses to see if they're still breathing. I was paranoid to bits. I know being a parent is no smooth ride but now that I am, I realized that I have to be brave and strong, even if I don't want to. Truth is, you don't have a choice. You NEED to be tough. Every single scratch or bite becomes a strong memory. Every scar, every trip to the doctor, every schedule they have to take their vitamins is something that will shape me up to becoming a mother.
Sometimes, I worry. I worry too much actually. I worry about sending them to school. I worry when they finally experience being teenager. I worry when they're going to discover what a crush on someone means. I worry too much. And they're just four months old.
Then again, I love being a mom. And I will rant more about it soon.

Routine

The twins are now three months old (wow that was fast! thatwasfreakinfast!) and I have to say that I've fallen in a routine. Good routine anyway. I would wake up at 7am, say hello to the babies, fix myself and Don some coffee, eat toast or go straight for the big breakfast, start work, get a hearty lunch (or take a quick trip to JD) do the groceries, fetch Tanya, go home, fix baby bottles, beat a deadline while devouring dinner and go to bed. In the weekends, we either hit SM city, chill at out favorite bar for a beer or two or have lunch with mom or dad when they're more than just visiting the twins. Some people may say "Boring" and I am strongly one of those people before. Miraculously, I must say that I'm enjoying and handling things pretty good. Having kids do get your grounded. And for the first time, I have to admit I love being grounded. ;)

By the way that's Poh sleeping on Vea's pharm books. I don't know why I posted his picture. I like it though.

The Twins are Here!

OMG! My twins are here! Maia and Sakura were born July 2nd, 2010 at Western Visayas Medical Center, 9:13 and 9:14PM via c-section. I can't freakin believe it's almost been three months! And now we'll be celebrating their baptism this Saturday.
More details soon.

Insecurity Invasion

For many many years, I have considered myself as a pretty confident person. Of course, I know my imperfections but I still love myself for it. However, being pregnant for the last eight months, seeing your not pregnant friends enjoy the beauty of youth and catching a glimpse of the exes make me want to hurl myself in bed, smother up in a pillow and just die.
I can't wait to give birth so I can rid of the pounds, of the dark circles around my eyes, the dark skin and the sore hands and feet. I can't wait to wear figure-fitting jeans again, have that glow that made most guys in the earlier years stop in their tracks and stare (okay, I'm sort of exaggerating) and drink soda without worrying so much of the calories. I miss me.
I am lucky my Don loves me. And I am surrounded by people who have shown care and support. I can never be happier. But my narcissistic self is taking over. And I let it. And it's just so sick.

Ethan Hawked

What I will confess is that Ethan Hawke is one hot vampire. A few minutes before the movie ends (hey this is a spoiler so stop right now) he turned back into being human and I lost interest altogether. I definitely lost interest after things start to get a little major and so Resident Evil-ish near the ending. I already muttered "That's hardcore," in the beginning and got totally crushed when it ended.
For one thing, the concept was pretty dark. Not Dark like trying-hard-to-be-dark. The artistic photography was pretty effortless and I marveled. Don and I started to watch the movie last night but he had a couple of drinks and begged to continue the movie the next day so I agreed even if I was at the edge of my seat (the bed, actually). The movie is futuristic and humans have resorted to being vampires to survive extinction. There were lots of blood and some gore, I loved it because it wasn't so in-your-face kind of thing but the last (ending) part was a little disappointing. It just ended. Like, like that. I mean, it was okay I guess, made me remember the movie Twin Effect and all but they should have came up with something revelation-something or twisty, whatever. To conclude all and all, Ethan Hawke was hot.

Daybreakers

I've always been fascinated by vampires. There's just something so sexy about them.
Currently watching this futuristic vampire film, Daybreakers (and Ethan Hawke is hot!). But Don has to entertain the water purifying system guy outside so we're on pause.
Back in the day, when I was wallowing in Anne Rice and Vittorio the Vampire, I wanted to become a vampire at the age of 18. Superb. Haha. Still fascinated by them though. I hope my children will have eyes like theirs. Piercing and absolutely intimidating. Will write a movie review right after this one. Enjoy Wednesday.

Counting the Days. And Nights.

I am nearing my 37th week with the little ones and I can't freaking wait for this pregnancy to be over. Don't get me wrong. Being pregnant sure has been one of the most fulfilling moments of my life. There were even times that I felt I am in my most beautiful self and this sure has been the healthiest period of my life for all 23 years of existence. However, fatigue has taken over and I've found myself hoping and praying that I will give birth soon. Like, right now if it can't be helped. I am heavier than heavy and I'm starting to bloat up and insecurity is starting to seep through my veins. I want to hold my babies close and give them names and slip them into these cute little onesies and lay them on their cribs. I can't wait to start recovery period and get back on my feet. I know this is cheating and all but I just want to start being on the go again. I need to get a grip.

Unpregnant

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with twins and I just want to give birth like, right now. I feel like I've been pregnant all my life and I just want to get it over with. This has been by far the most physically tiring and enduring challenge of my 23-year-old body. Most moms say that I should enjoy the last days of pregnancy because I will miss it. Yeah, right. Below are the couple of things I've been putting up with for the last eight months.
* I've never sweated like this before. I am literally sweating like a pig all the time. It didn't help that my most of my trimester is spent during the summer and I've been wailing for rain and it didn't happen. Don's mom had to buy us an air conditioner to keep me alive. The electric fan is divine.
* I miss fish balls, extra joss, sting, pancit canton, coke binges, red horse, vodka, riding bikes, staying up late until the wee hours of the morning, hanging out in bars and restaurants, watching Don's gigs, wearing heels, wearing jeans, wearing my favorites tees --- and few hundreds of other things I should mention next time.
* Sleeping has been hard. Finding a comfortable position is a quest.
* I can't eat as much junk food as I want.
* Probably had sex four times during the entire duration of my pregnacy (pregnant at five months and I only get to kiss my sweetie).
* I had to drink milk every single day.
* I miss going out just for the sake of going out.
* I have stretch marks.
* I feel so ugly when I look at the mirror.
* I feel so fat when I look at the mirror.

However, being pregnant does have a lot of perks as well. But that's a topic for another time.

Happy Last Pregnancy Days!

Yesterday, I went to the fiesta at Barotac. Yes. Eight months pregnant with twins and due any day from now, I traveled for about an hour to devour fiesta food. I swear I'm delirious. Anyway, I didn't take any pictures because it was just a quick guilty pleasure thing so I've done and got it over with --- which was pretty fun though.
I'm currently enjoying my last pregnancy days! I can't believe I'm almost there in having the twins. The truth is, I'm not scared at all. I don't know. I'm pretty sure I'm not in denial or anything because the closer I get to that day, the closer I get to the twins and a much lighter tummy. I can't wait to eat and binge on coke, fish balls, junk food, sting, extra joss, pancit canton and red horse. I'm ALMOST there.
Anyway, here were the pictures taken when Scott visited me. (Uhm, I don't know how to post a lot of pictures nicely!). I miss that bitch already.

Scotter Butter in Town

This photo was taken about two years ago at MOA grounds, where I was literally "struggling with my career" and overspending. Gawd, I actually miss those days. Anyway, Scott was a life-saver. Not literally anyway but talking to this guy surely is a great way to keep your sanity.

The last time we saw each other was July of last year --- where I packed my stuff for the weekend and flew to Manila to just visit. It was divine and as usual, craziness took place like the normal Shey-Scott thing. College was one of the best times and it would absolutely be never the same without Scottie and the Gang (Joenessa and Yala).

Anyway, I can't wait to show you my baby bump. See you later!

Change-Over

I'll be giving birth in less than two months. I can hardly wait. Hell, I already even have a list of what to do!

1. Shed the post-pregnancy fats.
2. Get back to work.
3. Color my hair blue (or purple).
4. Get a tattoo.
5. Visit my mom, sister and brothers often.
6. Treat my dad at Lumpiga resto.
7. Drive around town with Don until sunset (and watch it together).
8. Learn how to walk straight again.
9. Figure out how to recycle my anmum boxes.
10. Share the twins to the parents and in-laws on weekends.
11. Prepare for law school.
12. Continue eating right.
13. Stay up late again.
14. Connect with friends.
15. Style my baby book.
16. Start collecting photos of twins (thanks bb Darenn).
17. Enjoy motherhood (have the whole lifetime to do it).
18. Consider working for the government.
19. Fit into my pants again.
20. Bring Snow-snow when doing the grocery.

Kim Chi Day

Yesterday, Don and I were with mom and dad at this Korean restaurant Kim's Bob near Paseo at Robinson's for some Kim Chi treat. Rhona (one of my really good friends since I was 13 invited me once to this cute little restaurant and I instantly fell in love with it --- but not with the Kim Chi. Let me just tell you all about it in a while.
My dad lived in Korea for a couple of years back when he was still single, new at being a seaman and probably being a slacker (but I love him for being one anyway). He's one of the most hardworking people I know now. Originally, the trip to Kim's Bob was to satisfy my mom's curiosity of the Koren way of life, particularly how they like their food served and all. So I ordered the San Gyup Sal (did I get it right?) while my mom scoured the wide array of Korean noodles, spices, candies and drinks on the stands and my dad enjoying a smoke outside and Don doing a quick trip to the bookstore for some good Pugad Baboy comic book (we're suckers for Pol Medina, Jr.)
The best part about Kim's Bob is that they let you cook your food in this old-fashioned way. They set-up this this cute little cooking tool in front of you and you do all the frying and stuff. Anyway, dad has already emptied his first plate of potato-like kim chi and is now devouring the real kim chi. I can hardly believe my eyes. One bite I had a couple of weeks ago was enough to make my tongue surrender and I was practically drowning myself in water. But my good old man was eating the thing with chopsticks and digesting the stuff like pizza. I was amazed. I rest my case.
As with my mom, her dreams of living in Korea vanished in an instant --- she said she's not going to survive because of food alone. That or she'd get really thin which I doubt because she's been on a diet for almost 18 years. She did buy a few boxes of kim chi home, this red noodle thing and some ring candies for my brother Dominic and for Don's sister, Tanya.
Just love going out with my folks. Mom's planning we go Japanese buffet for my brother's birthday on the 22nd, but maybe I'd suggest we stick to good old Filipino food. Nothing beats the Pinoy cuisine anyway. :-)

A Sudden Surge of Movie Rush

The Book of Eli was probably the coolest movie I've seen in a while (since it has become apparently difficult to please me with movies these days). Denzel Washington delivered and the film does not disappoint. To be exact, it intrigued me all the more when I saw Gary Oldman in there and I must say I expected a lot from this favorite actor of mine. But Washington proved to be a show-stopper (I watched Training Day a couple of weeks ago, also starring Ethan Hawke and I'm starting to be really impressed of how versatile of an actor Washington is).
In a time when movie producers, writers and directors pop their veins out to make a high quality movie, I'd say The Book of Eli is successful. The concept is pretty deep, the delivery is pretty simple but the effect totally blew me away. And everything was smoothly done --- I doubt if the producers popped a vein indeed. Either that or they're just pure genius. I believe more in the latter.
And I absolutely adore Mila Kunis' hair. I'm thinking of naming my daughter Solara because of her character. Strong but naive at the same time. Cute.
I need more of these movies.

Wired and Tired on a Friday

I'm supposed to be rejoicing since it's Friday, last day of work and a whole weekend to relax and just waste away. However, I've been an ass at work and I have to squeeze in some writing which sucks. But procrastination has its prize. And I'm buried in it right this very moment.
For starters, my head hurts with all the laptop reviews I've been doing for the past two weeks. Computer configuration, features, RAM, memory. Heck, I don't even know what laptop model I'm using (well I've become more aware now of course). Writing laptop reviews amidst the hellish weather, super hot afternoons and campaign vehicles with their corny songs blaring on the speakers has taken it's toll and I just wanna roll in bed and sleep. A few sessions of PVZ were therapeutic too and a few hours of helping out with the store downstairs can be good as well --- but back here in front of the computer, I can't help but procrastinate once more.
Mom and Dad are coming over tomorrow for some milk fish. Mom has been texting me about how she wants my baby girl :-) I miss her already. This laptop I'm using will probably be in the hands of my sister so I'll be back on good old HP starting tomorrow.
For now, need to finish five more articles before I call it a day.

Grocery Addiction

I've been totally addicted to grocery shopping lately. Here I am, with all the nine kilos gained over my pregnancy with the twins and I am dying to scour the grocery store almost everyday. It's a good exercise and thank God for it my feet don't swell and get all big which happens to most pregnant women. So I'm gonna leave my backlogs again later for the grocery. :-)

Wrong Ultrasounds

And I just bounced back...

Been reading a lot of wrong ultrasounds and it turns out it's almost always a boy thought to be as a girl. That it's always harder to tell if it's a girl. When the ultrasound scanner misses the "ding-ding" it's announced as a girl so off go the parents to pain the nursery pink and then shocked when a boy comes out during delivery.

A mother of twins were also told that she's going to have a girl and a boy and during her last ultrasound, found two peanuts instead of one, if you get my drift. So when a doctor says it's a boy, it probably it. But when they say it's a girl, don't get too sure a hundred percent just yet.

Anyway, last week was a hell of a ride for me. Thinking of having two girls is enough to handle. I mean, I KNOW I shouldn't rant so much about this. As Don would say, it's alright, whatever the gender is, as long as they're both healthy and normal. I should be thanking the stars.

However, there's just so much about having twin boys. I mean, for starters, they're low maintenance. Girls are to be protected twice as much than boys and being a girl myself, I know it wasn't easy. God knows how many times I wished I was a boy instead (although there are pretty huge perks when you're a girl, like, not carrying all the heavy grocery bags.)

So I'm deeply hoping they spot a peanut in there somewhere. Don wants a junior and I want him to very happy. Having a girl and a boy will the ultimate blessing :-) Can't wait for my next ultrasound (a little bit of dreading it) but I'm glad I'm no longer crying and bawling like last week.

Little Boy Blues

Last Tuesday, March 30, I had my second ultrasound of the twins. I was literally jumping up and down since my last ultrasound (which was January) and I hardly slept the night before. I was personally excited for a little boy. I mean, I know there is a boy in there. I have felt the symptoms, the cravings --- even the oldies keep on saying I was going to have a boy.
So when the scanner showed I was going to have a little girl, my hands started to sweat hoping the other one is her brother (honey, baby, if you read this someday don't hate mommy. I love you and I've never felt happier to have a daughter). But the rambunctious one kept on twisting under the scanning tool and it twirled it's tiny little leg over its umbilical cord, thus, blocking all possible means for us to see its genitals. I was getting all anxious in the ultrasound room and I was seriously wanting to Don to join me in there but fear started to creep in --- am I going to have two girls?
This feeling came in as a surprise. I always said I will never be happier as long as my twins are healthy and normal --- but deeply, I was actually hoping for a boy.
I actually cried for two days and Don was there to comfort me. Gender preference was never an issue. Maybe I was just a little disappointed that we never knew the gender of my other twin (but we will on my ultrasound 8 weeks from now). Keeping my fingers crossed. :-)

Passion for Sundae

Drooling for sundae. Not good.

Primal Fear --- Twisted Thoughts

I've heard of this movie a million times. Well, there's this primary fact that I had my Edward Norton moment two or three years ago after I watched The Illusionist. I was pretty much so totally obsessed with Ed Norton after that --- I bought Fight Club, 25th Hour, The Painted Veil, watched the Incredible Hulk on its premier night, followed the guy on every Hollywood blog I can find --- I swear I was delirious. Normal stalking for a fan whose only resource material is the internet. So back to the movie. My boyfriend and I saw this 1996 film VCD tape stashed out in this small video store downtown where they're selling original VCDs for 10 freaking pesos. So the video sat on top of our player for a few more weeks before we finally decided to watch it today at lunch. I know Edward Norton to be a superb actor and famous for playing roles with multiple personality disorders (I am a big fan of Tell Me Your Dreams as well) so I was yawning the entire time since I know that he's gonna have a split anytime soon. I've read the reviews for Primal Fear and I actually even forgot Richard Gere was in it (I still love you in First Knight) --- everybody was gabbing about Edward Norton and his brilliant accent. The twist in the ending was priceless. It took me about a full minute before I recovered, no kidding. Of course, we have such twists with the kind of movies we have now but a movie displaying this kind of plot 14 years ago deserves a nod --- a couple of times. Laura Linney was astounding as well (and I wouldn't forget her in The Savages with Philip Seymour Hoffman). But Ed Norton definitely delivered. Although I have to admit his character is overrated --- it's a nice good kind of overrated character. I recommend it for those who love sprawling in bed in the middle of the day doing nothing. Give yourself a treat.

Feeling the Blog-Bite Again

I need a bit of a diversion. Been missing out on blogs lately. Gawd.
Today is Friday so hurrah! Don and I went to the grocery store to buy a big tub of chocolate ice cream with marshmallows together with two bags of V-cut and some yogurt in value pack. It saved us P10. I've been bugging Don to make me eat ice cream to my heart's content for the longest time ever --- this whole pregnancy thing can be a bitch especially if you've been craving for cold stuff like ice cream, yogurt (thank God for yogurt!), gulaman, coke, sundae and good ol' halo-halo. I'll be drowning in those in a little while. Have to finish half of my writing though. My boss will kill me.

Parentals are going out so the house is pretty much empty. We'll be hanging out by the store. I love Fridays...