Mothering

When it comes to being a mom, I never, in my wildest dreams, did imagine I'd be talking about it when I hit the age of 24 (actually, I became a mom at 23, and 8 months but let's just round it off). I thought I'd be settling down at maybe 29 or 30, give birth to only one son or daughter and then get old happy.
The thing is, I got pregnant way earlier, gave birth to twins and now I'm experiencing what it is to be a parent. Talking about being a parent is not even close to honoring your own parents. It's so freakin so much more than that. It's more than just giving birth and buying milk and staying up in the wee hours of the morning to tend to the babies. I wish I can say being a mom is a breeze. Being a mom is made up of so many different things.
Although seeing your babies smiling or laughing and sleeping soundly is enough to take away the stress of the day, everyday becomes an increasing challenge, and you constantly ask yourself if you're going to be a good parent or not.
When the twins caught the cold when they were two months old, I stayed up every single night they were with me and cuddled them until the morning. I constantly checked and placed a mirror under their noses to see if they're still breathing. I was paranoid to bits. I know being a parent is no smooth ride but now that I am, I realized that I have to be brave and strong, even if I don't want to. Truth is, you don't have a choice. You NEED to be tough. Every single scratch or bite becomes a strong memory. Every scar, every trip to the doctor, every schedule they have to take their vitamins is something that will shape me up to becoming a mother.
Sometimes, I worry. I worry too much actually. I worry about sending them to school. I worry when they finally experience being teenager. I worry when they're going to discover what a crush on someone means. I worry too much. And they're just four months old.
Then again, I love being a mom. And I will rant more about it soon.