Insecurity Invasion

For many many years, I have considered myself as a pretty confident person. Of course, I know my imperfections but I still love myself for it. However, being pregnant for the last eight months, seeing your not pregnant friends enjoy the beauty of youth and catching a glimpse of the exes make me want to hurl myself in bed, smother up in a pillow and just die.
I can't wait to give birth so I can rid of the pounds, of the dark circles around my eyes, the dark skin and the sore hands and feet. I can't wait to wear figure-fitting jeans again, have that glow that made most guys in the earlier years stop in their tracks and stare (okay, I'm sort of exaggerating) and drink soda without worrying so much of the calories. I miss me.
I am lucky my Don loves me. And I am surrounded by people who have shown care and support. I can never be happier. But my narcissistic self is taking over. And I let it. And it's just so sick.

Ethan Hawked

What I will confess is that Ethan Hawke is one hot vampire. A few minutes before the movie ends (hey this is a spoiler so stop right now) he turned back into being human and I lost interest altogether. I definitely lost interest after things start to get a little major and so Resident Evil-ish near the ending. I already muttered "That's hardcore," in the beginning and got totally crushed when it ended.
For one thing, the concept was pretty dark. Not Dark like trying-hard-to-be-dark. The artistic photography was pretty effortless and I marveled. Don and I started to watch the movie last night but he had a couple of drinks and begged to continue the movie the next day so I agreed even if I was at the edge of my seat (the bed, actually). The movie is futuristic and humans have resorted to being vampires to survive extinction. There were lots of blood and some gore, I loved it because it wasn't so in-your-face kind of thing but the last (ending) part was a little disappointing. It just ended. Like, like that. I mean, it was okay I guess, made me remember the movie Twin Effect and all but they should have came up with something revelation-something or twisty, whatever. To conclude all and all, Ethan Hawke was hot.

Daybreakers

I've always been fascinated by vampires. There's just something so sexy about them.
Currently watching this futuristic vampire film, Daybreakers (and Ethan Hawke is hot!). But Don has to entertain the water purifying system guy outside so we're on pause.
Back in the day, when I was wallowing in Anne Rice and Vittorio the Vampire, I wanted to become a vampire at the age of 18. Superb. Haha. Still fascinated by them though. I hope my children will have eyes like theirs. Piercing and absolutely intimidating. Will write a movie review right after this one. Enjoy Wednesday.

Counting the Days. And Nights.

I am nearing my 37th week with the little ones and I can't freaking wait for this pregnancy to be over. Don't get me wrong. Being pregnant sure has been one of the most fulfilling moments of my life. There were even times that I felt I am in my most beautiful self and this sure has been the healthiest period of my life for all 23 years of existence. However, fatigue has taken over and I've found myself hoping and praying that I will give birth soon. Like, right now if it can't be helped. I am heavier than heavy and I'm starting to bloat up and insecurity is starting to seep through my veins. I want to hold my babies close and give them names and slip them into these cute little onesies and lay them on their cribs. I can't wait to start recovery period and get back on my feet. I know this is cheating and all but I just want to start being on the go again. I need to get a grip.

Unpregnant

I'm 36 weeks pregnant with twins and I just want to give birth like, right now. I feel like I've been pregnant all my life and I just want to get it over with. This has been by far the most physically tiring and enduring challenge of my 23-year-old body. Most moms say that I should enjoy the last days of pregnancy because I will miss it. Yeah, right. Below are the couple of things I've been putting up with for the last eight months.
* I've never sweated like this before. I am literally sweating like a pig all the time. It didn't help that my most of my trimester is spent during the summer and I've been wailing for rain and it didn't happen. Don's mom had to buy us an air conditioner to keep me alive. The electric fan is divine.
* I miss fish balls, extra joss, sting, pancit canton, coke binges, red horse, vodka, riding bikes, staying up late until the wee hours of the morning, hanging out in bars and restaurants, watching Don's gigs, wearing heels, wearing jeans, wearing my favorites tees --- and few hundreds of other things I should mention next time.
* Sleeping has been hard. Finding a comfortable position is a quest.
* I can't eat as much junk food as I want.
* Probably had sex four times during the entire duration of my pregnacy (pregnant at five months and I only get to kiss my sweetie).
* I had to drink milk every single day.
* I miss going out just for the sake of going out.
* I have stretch marks.
* I feel so ugly when I look at the mirror.
* I feel so fat when I look at the mirror.

However, being pregnant does have a lot of perks as well. But that's a topic for another time.

Happy Last Pregnancy Days!

Yesterday, I went to the fiesta at Barotac. Yes. Eight months pregnant with twins and due any day from now, I traveled for about an hour to devour fiesta food. I swear I'm delirious. Anyway, I didn't take any pictures because it was just a quick guilty pleasure thing so I've done and got it over with --- which was pretty fun though.
I'm currently enjoying my last pregnancy days! I can't believe I'm almost there in having the twins. The truth is, I'm not scared at all. I don't know. I'm pretty sure I'm not in denial or anything because the closer I get to that day, the closer I get to the twins and a much lighter tummy. I can't wait to eat and binge on coke, fish balls, junk food, sting, extra joss, pancit canton and red horse. I'm ALMOST there.
Anyway, here were the pictures taken when Scott visited me. (Uhm, I don't know how to post a lot of pictures nicely!). I miss that bitch already.

Scotter Butter in Town

This photo was taken about two years ago at MOA grounds, where I was literally "struggling with my career" and overspending. Gawd, I actually miss those days. Anyway, Scott was a life-saver. Not literally anyway but talking to this guy surely is a great way to keep your sanity.

The last time we saw each other was July of last year --- where I packed my stuff for the weekend and flew to Manila to just visit. It was divine and as usual, craziness took place like the normal Shey-Scott thing. College was one of the best times and it would absolutely be never the same without Scottie and the Gang (Joenessa and Yala).

Anyway, I can't wait to show you my baby bump. See you later!