Sarcasm Overload

Top Things Why Being a Goody-goody Never Works:

1. You will whine about it anyway.
2. You will eventually let it out when you've reached your boiling point.
3. There is no such thing as "trying not to be angry".
4. It sucks to just keep quiet.
5. It sucks to just smile and pretend you're okay.
6. Being a martyr is not a turn-on.
7. Hiding your feelings is just so overrated.
8. It pays to speak your mind.
9. Acting someone you're not is just stupid.
10. You will cry anyway about it in the end anyway.

Not Looking Forward

Call me a major kill-joy but yes, I am not looking forward for the weekend. I wish it was Monday so I can work, thus, rubbing me of my ability to try to over analyze things in my head and going insane in the process.
Please let's fast forward two days from now.

Mothering

When it comes to being a mom, I never, in my wildest dreams, did imagine I'd be talking about it when I hit the age of 24 (actually, I became a mom at 23, and 8 months but let's just round it off). I thought I'd be settling down at maybe 29 or 30, give birth to only one son or daughter and then get old happy.
The thing is, I got pregnant way earlier, gave birth to twins and now I'm experiencing what it is to be a parent. Talking about being a parent is not even close to honoring your own parents. It's so freakin so much more than that. It's more than just giving birth and buying milk and staying up in the wee hours of the morning to tend to the babies. I wish I can say being a mom is a breeze. Being a mom is made up of so many different things.
Although seeing your babies smiling or laughing and sleeping soundly is enough to take away the stress of the day, everyday becomes an increasing challenge, and you constantly ask yourself if you're going to be a good parent or not.
When the twins caught the cold when they were two months old, I stayed up every single night they were with me and cuddled them until the morning. I constantly checked and placed a mirror under their noses to see if they're still breathing. I was paranoid to bits. I know being a parent is no smooth ride but now that I am, I realized that I have to be brave and strong, even if I don't want to. Truth is, you don't have a choice. You NEED to be tough. Every single scratch or bite becomes a strong memory. Every scar, every trip to the doctor, every schedule they have to take their vitamins is something that will shape me up to becoming a mother.
Sometimes, I worry. I worry too much actually. I worry about sending them to school. I worry when they finally experience being teenager. I worry when they're going to discover what a crush on someone means. I worry too much. And they're just four months old.
Then again, I love being a mom. And I will rant more about it soon.

Routine

The twins are now three months old (wow that was fast! thatwasfreakinfast!) and I have to say that I've fallen in a routine. Good routine anyway. I would wake up at 7am, say hello to the babies, fix myself and Don some coffee, eat toast or go straight for the big breakfast, start work, get a hearty lunch (or take a quick trip to JD) do the groceries, fetch Tanya, go home, fix baby bottles, beat a deadline while devouring dinner and go to bed. In the weekends, we either hit SM city, chill at out favorite bar for a beer or two or have lunch with mom or dad when they're more than just visiting the twins. Some people may say "Boring" and I am strongly one of those people before. Miraculously, I must say that I'm enjoying and handling things pretty good. Having kids do get your grounded. And for the first time, I have to admit I love being grounded. ;)

By the way that's Poh sleeping on Vea's pharm books. I don't know why I posted his picture. I like it though.

The Twins are Here!

OMG! My twins are here! Maia and Sakura were born July 2nd, 2010 at Western Visayas Medical Center, 9:13 and 9:14PM via c-section. I can't freakin believe it's almost been three months! And now we'll be celebrating their baptism this Saturday.
More details soon.

Insecurity Invasion

For many many years, I have considered myself as a pretty confident person. Of course, I know my imperfections but I still love myself for it. However, being pregnant for the last eight months, seeing your not pregnant friends enjoy the beauty of youth and catching a glimpse of the exes make me want to hurl myself in bed, smother up in a pillow and just die.
I can't wait to give birth so I can rid of the pounds, of the dark circles around my eyes, the dark skin and the sore hands and feet. I can't wait to wear figure-fitting jeans again, have that glow that made most guys in the earlier years stop in their tracks and stare (okay, I'm sort of exaggerating) and drink soda without worrying so much of the calories. I miss me.
I am lucky my Don loves me. And I am surrounded by people who have shown care and support. I can never be happier. But my narcissistic self is taking over. And I let it. And it's just so sick.

Ethan Hawked

What I will confess is that Ethan Hawke is one hot vampire. A few minutes before the movie ends (hey this is a spoiler so stop right now) he turned back into being human and I lost interest altogether. I definitely lost interest after things start to get a little major and so Resident Evil-ish near the ending. I already muttered "That's hardcore," in the beginning and got totally crushed when it ended.
For one thing, the concept was pretty dark. Not Dark like trying-hard-to-be-dark. The artistic photography was pretty effortless and I marveled. Don and I started to watch the movie last night but he had a couple of drinks and begged to continue the movie the next day so I agreed even if I was at the edge of my seat (the bed, actually). The movie is futuristic and humans have resorted to being vampires to survive extinction. There were lots of blood and some gore, I loved it because it wasn't so in-your-face kind of thing but the last (ending) part was a little disappointing. It just ended. Like, like that. I mean, it was okay I guess, made me remember the movie Twin Effect and all but they should have came up with something revelation-something or twisty, whatever. To conclude all and all, Ethan Hawke was hot.